How Can You Love and Hate Someone at the Same Time?
Love-hate relationships are usually signs of toxic relationships, like when you know someone’s cheating on you, and you hate them because of that, but you also can’t leave that person because of the love you have for her/him.
I had a friend who told me that he had been married to his wife for 4 years, and he just found out that she had been having an affair, now he still loves her and wants to figure out ways to fix this situation, but he’s also furious about her actions. You see, these relationships are having mixed feelings where you feel like stuck with someone.
You better stay away from these kinds of relationships. Why would you want to stay with someone you hate? Relationships are healthy when you both trust each other and have no single doubt in mind. In case you are still confused, let me tell you some signs of love-hate relationships-
Sometimes you feel they are a blessing in your life, and sometimes you can’t stand them
Sometimes you feel like the luckiest person in the whole world because of certain appealing qualities in them. You find your partner always helpful, focused in life, and making you a priority, but when you find about your partner’s flaws, it becomes an absolute turn-off for you. Like their ego, short temper or laziness, these traits even make you feel that you made a mistake committing to your partner.
You make up and break up again and again
In a love-hate relationship, you may love each other passionately but argue as well; whenever you both argue, rather than coming to a resolution, you both start a never-ending shouting competition, and during such heated moments, you may find each other highly repulsive.
It may even lead to breaking up threats; however, after some time, you may have a change of heart and makeup again and shower each other with love and forget that you were at each other’s throats a while ago. This kind of love doesn’t last long because the cycle of breaking up and making up goes on.
You take relationship as a challenge
This happens when you have invested too much time and effort to walk away, you got up in a relationship with a person because of the positive traits you found. Still, when you caught up with the negative ones, you wanted to end the relationship.
Therefore you start maintaining the relationship as a prized possession with the motive of winning them over. You may try to make them stay committed to your permanent or give in to your needs and desires.
You have no idea where the relationship is heading
In case you are still struggling to figure out what your future of the relationship is going to look like, chances are you are in a love-hate relationship.
You see all other couples going ahead in the relationship, supporting and understanding each other, but you are stuck in the vicious cycle of loving and hating. In this case, you want to continue the relationship because you are afraid of being single, and therefore you continue to live with them.
No healthy emotional connection
What prevents you from having an emotional connection is not accepting the flaws of the person you love, but keeping in mind that accepting the flaws is essential for the relationship's longevity.
In case your feelings for your partner depend on how they make you feel like when they do something amazing for you, your heart fills with love for them, and the moment they go against you, start hating them, then chances are you might be in a love-hate relationship.
You try to play safe
A healthy relationship is where you can be yourself, love without boundaries, and accept each other without reservations. But in a love-hate relationship, you are sometimes in and sometimes out.
Because of the fear of rejection, you start building scenarios in your head instead of asking your partner directly about the hurdling doubts in your head.
Tips to Deal with Love-Hate Relationships
Okay, now you know if you are in a love-hate relationship or not, so here are some tips on how you can remove “hate” from your love-hate relationship.
Tip no.1: Clear out your thoughts
You cannot just question your position in the relationship in the relationship and expect things to turn out great. You and your partner have to be clear if you want to continue or let go of the relationship.
Go out to a nice place, have an open, engaging conversation with each other, and while doing that, be honest about your thoughts; just let them flow.
Keep in mind that it’s not a toxic relationship it’s a love-hate one. Therefore, you can steer the path to happiness if you are in a love-hate relationship.
Tip no.2: Identify negative feelings
Negativity is a serial killer. You must identify all of those negative emotions that are causing the friction, for example, your lack of patience or your partner’s temper, which are making you both bitter.
Next time you are about to start a fight with each other, stop for a moment, take deep breaths, analyze the situation that will help you take control of your anger, and help prevent you from reacting furiously. Then try to solve the problem that’s causing all negativity calmly.
Tip no.3 Don’t pretend
You shouldn’t pretend how much you love your partner. Your feelings have to be genuine toward each other; keep in mind that you are in a relationship, not somewhere where you want to seek validation from each other.
Just be honest about your feelings; if you are in a relationship where you have to pretend to be someone else you are not and can’t be yourself run away from that person, otherwise you’ll have to play a role of character for the rest of your life.
Tip no. 4 Write it down on a paper
In a relationship, you have to be teammates, not components of each other; you have to take responsibility for your actions. When you love and hate someone simultaneously, writing down your feelings can help you out to take some burden off of your head.
You see there’s something about writing your thoughts, it’s like you can see your feelings physically on a paper. Just write down everything you feel on the paper or what you want to say to your partner and then rip it off into pieces.
This act of writing your thoughts on a paper, seeing them ripped off physically will significantly make you feel better and help you get rid of some negative feelings you had about your partner that didn’t even exist.
Tip no.5 Spend more time with each other
This is the simplest way to fix this love-hate problem; when you have a cheerful, engaging conversation with your partner, it can cause miracles. I know there will be fights during difficult times but spend as much time together as possible, go on dates, do things you both can enjoy. This will help build the relationship again between you two.
Just make sure you choose places where calm and engaging conversations can happen. You’ll be surprised how effective it is to solve problems by discussing them like mature adults rather than shouting at each other. The one special thing you can do is go to the same place where you both first met with each other and spark those same feelings once again.
How Can You Go From Loving Someone to Hating Them?
Can love turn into hate? Yes, of course. It can happen if you have a lot of misunderstandings between each other. if you are someone constantly doubting your partner, then he/she’s going to hate that. Relationships are all about trust and always doubting your partner can lead to some serious fights, and you may end up hating each other.
Jealousy can also turn love into hate; in a relationship, you have to support each other to become more successful. If you become jealous because your partner’s making more money than you or achieving great things that you couldn’t achieve, then your relationship can become toxic.
Love can even turn into hate because of the external influencers; outside voices can brew toxicity in your relationship, keep that person’s energy out! Keep your relationship as private as possible.
The final reason love can turn into hate is holding secrets; if you hold secrets, not only they are going to mess up your head, but also there can be a moment where your partner may find out about them and because he/she doesn’t want to hurt each other don’t talk about it.