1st Date Conversation Ideas to Make Your Date a Success
Whether you’re newly single or you’ve been on the dating scene for some time, a first date can cause a lot of nerves. Maybe you’ve been chatting for a while via an online dating site, or perhaps it’s a blind date - whatever the circumstances, the chances are that you’ll have butterflies in your stomach when it’s time to meet up.
Having some conversation ideas for a first date lined up can be helpful to prevent those awkward silences. Once the conversation is flowing, you might not even need to call on your back-up plans again because it’s all about breaking the ice.
But with so many things that can go wrong if you mention the wrong thing, how can you ensure dating success? There are a few surefire topics that will get your date moving in the right direction - here are some tried-and-tested good first date conversation starters.
Best Date Conversations When You’re On a Blind Date
When it’s a blind date, it can be even harder to find first conversation starters because you don’t know anything about each other. However, that can sometimes be an advantage, and you can have some really fun date conversations when you’re starting from scratch.
Here are some great blind date topics to discuss on a first date:
Who in your life is special to you?
If you don’t know anything about someone, finding out about who they have close to them can be a great topic to break the ice. Whether it is children, parents, siblings, or close friends, we all like to talk about those who are important to us.
You can find out a lot about a person from the way they talk about others, especially those they say they care for. Aside from the revealing tell-tale signs, it’s also rather lovely to watch someone light up, and asking them about their favorite people is a great way to create a warm and fuzzy atmosphere.
What’s your favorite joke?
This might sound like the ultimate cheesy line to try out on a date, but it could work better than you think. Most people have a favorite silly joke, and sharing it on a date can help to lighten the atmosphere and take away tension. Just remember to make sure to have one of your own lined up before you ask this question!
There is another reason to ask this question, and that’s to get an idea of their humor. What you find funny might be very different from your date, and sometimes this may mean you’re incompatible. If your date comes out with a joke that you find offensive or unacceptable, it will let you know instantly that perhaps they’re not the one for you.
Tell me some random fun facts about yourself?
This can be a mine of good topics to talk about on a first date, depending on how many juicy tidbits your potential partner can come up with. This question blows the potential conversation wide open, and you won’t have any idea where it will lead until they answer. That’s the beauty of this; it’s a truly spontaneous conversation opener and can lead to some of the best first date conversations.
Like everything, make sure you have some of your own fun snippets to share in return. There’s nothing worse than sitting there silently, grasping for something to say in response to a question that you originally asked…
What’s your favorite place in this world?
Shared values and shared dreams are often a strong basis for a relationship, so it’s useful to find out right from the start whether you’re on the same path. If their favorite place is raving it up in Ibiza while you long for a remote yoga retreat, it doesn’t bode well for long-term compatibility.
However, asking this question doesn’t just give you information about whether you’re likely to get along. Talking about positive ideas and thoughts is a great way to keep the mood upbeat and buoyant, plus you’re both likely to have lots to say about places that you love.
What’s your favorite food?
This may seem a bit mundane, but if you’ve gone out to a restaurant, this is a topic of conversation which you can easily seem natural. There’s something a bit awkward about obviously trotting out prepared questions, making your date seem more like an interview than an enjoyable get-together. Asking about food is a question that could easily be prompted by what you’re eating tonight. Also, if the date seems to be going well and your date talks about another type of food they love, you could also subtly suggest that you go there together “next time”!
How do you see your life panning out?
There are lots of different ways to phrase this question but what you’ll really be trying to find out is what kind of future they are planning. Do they want to travel the world having few ties but lots of crazy experiences? Or do they yearn for a settled life with a person they love, and maybe children?
There’s no right or wrong answer to this question, but it gives you the chance to decide whether their life goals are aligned with yours. While you don’t want to subject them to grilling on the first date, it’s useful to find out as soon as possible whether there could be a potential future. If your date has completely different visions for their future, there’s no point spending any further time on the budding relationship. Of course, some differences are minor, and people may bend and change as they get to know someone. However, when there is a wide gulf between you, it’s far better to cut your losses early and move on elsewhere.
Good Date Conversation Starters for All Situations
You won’t always be meeting up with someone following a blind date. Maybe you’ve met briefly before at a party or through friends and agreed to go on a date together. Or perhaps you’ve been chatting online via a dating app and want to move on to the next step.
This means that you might have already covered the basics, and now you know a little about each other, which can eliminate the obvious questions that you would usually ask on a date. But never fear! There’s still plenty to discuss and debate, with conversation starters for dating that could leave you deep in discussion and losing track of time! Here are a few dating discussion topics to try out:
Would you rather…?
A fun game that can be used at parties, it’s also a good way to delve deeper when you’re trying to get to know someone. The idea is that you give them two options and make them choose one. No matter how unpalatable the two options are, the only rule is that they must choose one and explain the reasons for their choice.
You could pick something silly like, “Would you rather go swimming with a crocodile or wrestle a lion?” It may not reveal anything especially mind-blowing about your date, but it’s a safe yet funny first date conversation starter and could keep you chatting for some time. Alternatively, choose a probing philosophical question such as “Would you rather have the perfect job or the perfect partner?” - or even, “Would you rather have sex with no love or love with no sex?” Obviously, you’ll need to gauge if the mood is right before trying these out, but they certainly open the floodgates to some interesting coffee date conversations!
What assumptions do people make about you which are completely wrong?
We’re all guilty of making judgments or jumping to conclusions, but often there’s a reason for our opinion. Finding out how your date is viewed by others could be a revealing insight into their behavior. For example, if he says that people always assume he’s confident, could he be loud, arrogant, or overbearing? Conversely, if people expect him to be shy, perhaps he’s a man who values his privacy, is calm, and not prone to outbursts. You can glean some interesting insights into this topic, so it’s far more than just stuff to talk about on a first date.
What good movies have you seen recently?
Talking points for a first date don’t need to be overly complicated or intense. It’s fine to just chat about lighthearted topics; you’ll still get a good idea about whether you like your date without rummaging around in their psyche.
Movies and TV shows are something that most people can relate to, and it’s not usually too much of a stretch to come up with an answer on the spot. If things went well and you embark on a relationship, you could end up on the sofa together trying to find something to watch. So if he loves horrors and you can’t cope with more than a PG, this is your chance to get him hooked on something you like instead!
What makes you laugh?
There are all kinds of answers to this question, but it can put your date on the right foot. Good first date conversation starters provide you with the opportunity to talk about things that are fun and that you can both relate to. You might discover that you both like the same comedy shows or the same comedians. (Hint: remember this as if you carry on dating, picking up tickets to a gig would be a top move!)
Enjoying a Successful First Date
First dates are all about discovering whether you have common ground and whether you’re interested enough to want to see each other again. You don’t need to feel besotted by the end of the first date, and in fact, it would be fairly unusual if you did.
Evaluate how the conversation made you feel: were you bored? Did you want to know more? Was he as interested in you as you were in him?
Hopefully, with our above conversation tips, you won’t have experienced any silent moments, but even if you did, these could be easily smoothed out if mutual interest is there.
Get prepared for your date in advance with a list of killer 1st date conversation starters, and you could enjoy the best 1st date you’ve ever had.