Accepting You Will Never Find Love – Disillusionment?

Finding love is on fewer lists as we transition from baby-boomers to generation X, generation X to Y, and millennials. Have people given up on finding love, or has it become so elusive, we are not keen on seeking love anymore? Whatever happened to finding love in all the wrong places, getting swept off your feet by a knight in shining armor? Was it all a dream? Not. And if they were dreams, many couples have realized these dreams and made happily-ever-after memories.

But the age-old question remains: Do some people never find love? And why would you embrace the notion that you will never find love? Several factors contribute to people never finding love. Before accepting you will never find love, let us delve into the ins-and-outs of modern-day relationships. Maybe we can shed light on what it takes to find love and why it has become elusive for so many.

For starters, love is relative. What seems like love to one lass will be infatuation to another. What most millennials perceive to be love is quickly broken down into a case of lust. Alfred Lord Tennyson said the best: it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. So then, why do some people never get to experience this love?

Do some people never find love? From the onset, they never seek it. In today’s fast-paced, liberated and outright don’t-care attitude world, people want it all now. Dating platforms are growing in popularity, and though members claim to seek long-term unions, the truth is, many only want one-night stands. Dating sites connect like-minded people for short-term fun. Hence, long-term unions rarely materialize.

Traditionally, women sought to get married based on love. Millennials have changed the dynamics. If you don’t have a friend or two who suffer in their marriage/entanglements due to financial demands, your circle of friends isn’t wide enough.

The number one destroyer of relationships is a financial strain, usually from one spouse expecting too much from their partner. It can lead to a relationship ending before it begins. If a woman (main culprits) only wants information on bank account details, inevitably, they will never find companionship.

Some people never find love because dysfunctional relationships surround them. If all high school and college friends are breaking up left, right, and center, chances are high - you may never seek love. Many singles get hitched when they witness happiness in others, in marriage.

When surrounded by failing relationships only, circumstances make it harder to find love. It is not that someone doesn’t wish to be loved; the environment causes disillusionment and dissuasion.

Women have found freedom in money, the type of freedom that dictates utopian standards. This emancipation of women, per se, leaves many ladies single because they seem to place a man’s value as limited. Some women see men only as a tool for sex.

It means a career woman sees no need to raise a family, and if she has a child, there is no impending need for a traditional family setting. It is the norm to see single mothers not too bothered about their baby-daddies being in the picture. Then, how can one find ever find love if all they seek are love-babies?

It is no secret that relationships have witnessed a deterioration in morals and values over the past couple of decades. It has left many generations X through to millennials with severely warped images of what relationships should be. For instance, some may have witnessed their parents fighting over petty things, maybe even getting physical.

Some of these experiences lead to tough romantic unions for the kids after that. Relationships become harder to come by, and finding companionship is next to impossible if your parents never showed affection. Kids learn from adults, always, and coping with relationship stresses should be something you pick up during early childhood.

Bi-sexual individuals find it increasingly harder to find love. This very sensitive topic needs mentioning because, let us face it, many people remain in the closet (till death do them part). If society doesn’t and will never accept you being in love with someone of the same gender, how possible is it to find love?

It is no secret that some people spend more than half their lives living a lie, revealing their true sexual identity when it is seemingly too late. Finding companionship in your late fifties is not promised, which is what leads some to accept they will never find love.

While women the world over cry foul over men being dogs, there are countless women (and men) who’ve had it up to here and have given up. These individuals have lifted their hands in surrender, claiming they will never find love, at least not in this lifetime. What are the reasons that may lead someone to accept they will never find a soulmate, and how can we fix this mindset?

Especially as it pertains to women, they place a lot of their heart and emotions into relationships, and when they fall, they fall hard. It is in terms of falling in love, and once a relationship is over, a lady feels like she’ll never find love again. What is key to understanding that these relationships are all stepping stones to much more fruitful relationships? Hence, take everything in stride, and as opposed to shutting off the world, and calling all men dogs, embrace a few puppies and find love in some grown dogs.

Many women claim they can’t seem to stop attracting losers into their lives, and there seems to be no solution. Could it be that they do attract losers, or are they simply the ones choosing these boys as opposed to men? Whatever the case may be, women globally are giving up on finding soulmates.

Hope is always the answer. Having faith in eventually finding love is key. The alternative is a poor attitude toward love and life. Undoubtedly, love will come-a-knocking, oblivious to you, and it may never come again. Stay positive no matter how many losers you have had in your life. They may all have been tests of your patience as the world prepares your knight in shining armor.

We all hear stories of miners or researchers who spent years searching for something, only to give up at the last minute. These stories are usually heartbreaking because someone usually finds what others had spent years looking for because the work had already been done. So, like the miner who gave up last minute, only for his junior to dig for two hours and make it big – don’t give up.

Your love might be next door; join a dating platform if you have to. Perhaps it is becoming more strenuous barhopping looking for companionship. Maybe it is the risk factor of these bars, or you just cannot be bothered. Online dating forums can get you connected to someone instantly, without leaving the comfort of your home. So, keep praying, or playing, until someone falls on your lap.

Remember the mention of friends and messed-up relationships? Well, experience may be the best teacher, but take it from experts, it is better to learn from others. Pay attention to how relationships are falling apart, what the causes are, and what the solutions might be, if any. Once you have an assortment of messed-up relationships in your diary, make notes to make easier transitions into your relationships.

As opposed to looking at relationships as a sign of the crazy times you are about to experience, take lessons from the book of life and make your perfect relationship. Realizing a healthy relationship is possible if you put your mind to it. Apply some lessons from fallen soldiers. Accepting you will never find love is a weak approach to life, and you are not weak.

Steer clear of divorcees. Friends may not always be the best people to seek relationship advice from. Take time to peruse through contacts of professionals if you feel like giving up on love, dial-a-therapist. Men are the number one culprits in believing therapy doesn’t work. If you are going to give up on love and possibly life, what do you have to lose?

Alternatively, and if the counseling isn’t looking too pocket-friendly, find some senior citizens to talk to. They will almost always have valuable insight into what you may or may not be doing, causing all the heartache. On seeking advice, seeing as some of us are less inclined to share relationship issues with friends, let alone strangers, take to reading. Find relationship columns online, read said forums, or download books to read later.

Accepting you will never find love is detrimental to mental well-being too. Our friends indeed know us better than we do. Chances are high they have enough insight concerning your non-starter relationships. Unwittingly, you choose jocks and never pay attention to nerds. Friends notice faults on your part, even when you don’t.

Use your close friends to connect you with someone they deem fit. Remember, you were planning on giving up anyway, specifically; accepting you will never find love. On a much higher note, why not take a chance with your circle of friends? You have nothing left to lose.

Love shouldn’t be so elusive that we pay dearly for it, both financially and emotionally. Using online platforms can help point you in the right direction. However, accepting you will never find love is a psychological dilemma. Therefore, changing your mindset and being positive regarding future relationships is equivalent to finding love. It takes two to tango, but you may be tangoing with the wrong people and are unaware.

Henceforth, surround yourself with positive vibes and positive people. Do some people never find love? Unfortunately, many fall into this category, but you don’t have to be one of them. Practice some positive thinking, the law of attraction works.

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