Get to Know the Three Stages of a Relationship

Relationships are a funny old thing. When you fall madly in love with somebody, it feels like the most unique thing in the world. Nobody could possibly understand this incredible feeling or relate to the intense emotions constantly whirring around your body.

But what if I told you that ever long-term relationship follows the same general blueprint? Shocking – but it’s true. Every single couple goes through the same three stages of romantic development: the honeymoon period, discovery of flaws, developing a solid foundation for communication. They may differ in length and severity, but ask anybody you know – they will be able to relate with this article.

Each stage comes with positive points and plenty of food for thought. If you want to be prepared in your relationship, make sure you read the rest of our article below.

Without a doubt, there are few things more intense than those first few months when you fall in love with somebody. A new relationship is like an explosion inside your heart. You suddenly have these crazy feelings which have long lay dormant. You’ll feel like a teenager (unless you still are one, you lucky devil). You will probably end up kidding yourself that this relationship will definitely last for the rest of your lives. But makes sure you take stock of a few things:

• It’s not all about sex

  You will probably find yourself wanting to stay in bed with your partner all day, every day. The sex is usually fantastic in these early days, but remember to do more than just bump and grind. You will want to focus on your emotional intimacy as well as your raw physical connection. You would do well to remind yourself of that when you are struggling to keep your hands off each other.

• Try to take off your rose-tinted glasses

  When you are head over heels for somebody, it can be difficult to evaluate them as a person. When you’re not wrapped up in each other’s arms, try to compare their actions with the things they say. Many people talk a big game when trying to impress their new partner. If they make out that they are very empathetic and compassionate to other people, take some time to see if they actually do act with kindness and compassion.

• Ensure your needs are truly being considered

  Make sure you never compromise your wants and beliefs for another person. You will probably feel the urge to change certain aspects of your personality in order to make sure your new partner likes you. However, if you truly want this relationship to work, you should communicate exactly how you expect to be treated. Let them know your desires and boundaries – never stray away from the things that make you, well, you.

So you’ve been riding high on the waves of your infatuation. Things seemed perfect, and you have never felt love like this in your life. But there’s one small snag: nobody is perfect! Not even Mother Teresa or Gandhi! Every person who has ever walked on the face of this earth has some sort of flaw. Usually, they have many flaws. We refuse to see somebody’s imperfections when we begin a relationship, but eventually, you’ll crash back down to reality and realize there are a few things about this person which are starting to rub you the wrong way.

• Take some time for yourself and ask yourself whether this is still right for you

  Nobody wants to be stuck in a relationship with a man or woman if they are incompatible, no matter how attractive you think they are! If you are noticing some things which give you second thoughts, explore those feelings by yourself. Ask yourself some questions like “do they continue to leave the toilet seat up when you have asked them not to?” or “are they unnecessarily judgemental and shallow on occasion?” Why does that bother you? Remember, it is important to understand your own limitations and constantly ask questions regarding whether or not a relationship is healthy.

• Make a checklist of their unsavory characteristics

  Many people fail to get out of a relationship before it is too late. They suddenly find themselves stuck in a home or marriage with somebody who does not treat them well. Usually, they say things like “I never saw it coming”. However, you could avoid any torment simply by taking stock of all the things you don’t like in your partner as soon as the honeymoon phase comes to an end. They are no longer trying to impress you, so you are finally seeing the darker side of their personality. This sometimes does not equate to much more than a few bad habits. But make sure you don’t turn a blind eye – your naivety may one day come back to haunt you.

• Acknowledge their flaws and decide if this relationship should continue

  Eventually, you will face a difficult situation as a couple. This usually comes in the form of a blazing row about something either big or small. You will have to have a frank discussion with your partner and lay everything out on the table. Listen to the issues they have about you as well - you are just as likely to make mistakes. You’ll then have to decide whether or not you are compatible for one another. Luckily, this is the end of a troublesome time in your love life. If you can make it through this stage, you’ll graduate to a much more mature and emotionally-rewarding phase of your romantic journey together.

If you have reached this point in your relationship, you will have undoubtedly experienced some amazing highs and survived a few testing lows. You’ll have gone through your first rows and come out strong on the other side. Couples who reach the third stage of a relationship usually know how to communicate effectively and work as a team to help each other feel loved and respected. How do you know you reached this balance? Well there are five key things to look out for.

• Respect

  You will never have to ask your partner to show you more respect. This will just be something they do every day. They will be aware of your wants and wishes and do their best to never undermine you.

• Trust

  You will always feel safe and loved in your relationship. There should never be any niggling doubts that your partner is thinking of leaving or looking elsewhere. You will be able to trust them around other people and take them at their word. Trust may be the most important factor in many happy partnerships.

• Communication

  Communication is the cornerstone of the third stage of a romantic relationship. At this time in your life, you will be able to express your feelings effectively and without judgment. This is because you have both created a safe space where you are free to explore yourselves and what you want in life.

• Sex

  If you have made it this far, you should have an almost psychic connection when it comes to making each other feel good in the bedroom. Sex will very much be a selfless act for both of you, where you know the right buttons to press and the best things to say. You will make each other feel sexy and attractive during intimacy. There is a reason many people prefer sex in a long-term relationship than in a more casual setting – you can’t replicate months of experience.

• Collaboration

  When you know somebody as well as you know your partner after making it this far through the stages of love, you find yourself working as a united front more often than not. You will inevitably bring out the best in each other and know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Your bond will help you problem solve in your day-to-day life. Your support for one another will pay dividends and help you in ways you never could have imagined.

Some people may feel like this stage is not as exciting as the honeymoon phase, but they are failing to see the joys of long-term relationships. You know someone more intimately than anybody else have known them before. You understand who they are on a fundamental level, and you have made a conscious decision to stick with them through the good and bad times. This is an exciting time, just in a completely different way to those crazy initial months.

We hope our article has been useful for you. We love to help couples take stock of what they have with each other. We want you to understand what makes your relationship so special. The world is a better place when we cherish the person by our side, whoever that may be.

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